Saturday, November 04, 2006

Good Times for a Sick Mind

Is it a prison? Is it an instrument? Nobody knows for sure. In order for this instrument to work at 100 percent capacity you need to trick a small Poecile atricapillus or Cyanocitta stelleri into entering the hole on the top of the instrument. I suggest a nice seed mixture. You can make it up yourself, or purchase it from a local shop owner. It is up to you to find the appropriate business in your city or town. I strongly suggest you avoid the Branta Canadensis or Gavia immer as these are both way to large to fit through the hole, and by all means stay away from the Corvus coraxthey scare the heck out of me.
Once you have secured your package you must quickly string the instrument up before they become wise to your plans. This can be tricky as most avionic creatures are evil in nature and have probably already figured out what it is that you are doing. Now that the instrument is strung up gently shake out your seed mixture unless you are looking for a shaker sound. All you have to do now is tune your instrument and start playing. The plucking and sweet sounds of the chirp chirp chirp will entertain you for hours on end.
Ok I have been contacted by a group of anonymous legal types that have strongly suggested
that I put in this description that doing any of the above would be cruel and unjust, and there is a good chance that I might end up doing time for said crimes. I have also been advised to inform all readers that no animals were hurt in the construction of this instrument, and I take no responsibility for any sick persons desire to construct this instrument to its full potential. If you do, you are sick, and need help. I wash my hands of all of this madness.
I almost forgot. The instrument is constructed from a wooden wine box I found in the garbage; unfortunately the wine had already been consumed. The pegs were made from chair legs, and the slide tuners were stripped out of an old equalizer from an eight track player, and the strings are just regular strings, only a lot shorter.

No comments: